‘The Princess Bride’ is among my favorite movies; I discovered it on cable television. It performed modestly at the box office, but it gained a cult following. Naturally, I can quote dialogue from the film, though many people already do. A few years ago, I attended a special afternoon showing of the film with a friend. A young couple sat next to us; they looked a bit younger than I expected. I asked them, and they admitted that they were introduced to the film by their respective parents. Neither was alive in 1987, when the film was released.
The Princess Bride is only one among many favorite films. I’ll admit that among many of my favorite films, there’s an element of romance. There’s a subtle way in which the relationship between two people develops. It may be in the uttering of the words, “As you wish.” Or it may be in the way that Art3mis and Parzival in Ready Player One say to each other, “You’ll forgive me for this, I promise.”
I’ll admit that I’m a sucker for a good romance. There have been multiple times when my wife and I watch a movie together, and she notices that I’m crying during the film.
Let’s make a list
Just for giggles, let’s make a list of favorite romantic films. Here’s a list for me in no particular order (in addition to the ones already mentioned):
- 10 Things I Hate About You
- 10 Years
- Before Sunrise (or Sunset or Midnight)
- Better Off Dead
- Blast from the Past
- The Fault in Our Stars
- For Love of the Game
- It’s a Wonderful Life
- Kate & Leopold
- A Knight’s Tale
- LA Story
- La La Land
- Same Time, Next Year
- Say Anything
- She’s Out of My League
- The Sound of Music
- Titanic
- When Harry Met Sally
- Xanadu
I’m sure that you recognize some of these films. Now, humor me and create a list of your own. The list doesn’t need to be exhaustive; it’s just a representation of the stories that are meaningful to you. I’ll ask you to take a few minutes and jot down a few names.
Let’s ponder who we are
Now let’s ponder who we are by the numbers. We, as Americans, are:
- 57.5% Caucasian
- 20% Hispanic or Latino
- 12.5% Black
- 6.7% Asian American
- 9.3% Gay/Lesbian
- 0.8% Transgender
Let’s go back to the list of romantic films that we created in the previous section. I have over 20 films on my list. How many couples resemble the above demographics? Let’s do the math:
1 / (0.093) = 10.75
Roughly one of every 11 people is gay or lesbian. By law of averages, among a list of 20 or more romantic films, one or two such couples would be gay or lesbian. They’re not, at least not on my list. Does your list include any gay couples?
How many films portray straight Caucasian couples? Nearly all my films portray straight Caucasian couples, and I’m Asian American. You could argue that gay marriage wasn’t legal for a long time, but it has been over 10 years since it was legalized. How about mixed race marriages? That has been legal since 1967, when the Supreme Court ruled on Loving v. Virginia.
Popular culture drives women to be thin and men to be stoic. We won’t even pretend it doesn’t; we just rationalize that it’s not doing that much harm. However, it also pushes for a demographic perception of the ‘perfect ‘ couple. That image does not include people like me, nor does it include any gay couples.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. The Walking Dead has a soft spot in my heart because Maggie, the most attractive (Caucasian) woman in the cast (played by Lauren Cohan), couples up with Glenn, the one Asian guy in the cast (played by Steven Yeun).
Why Pride Month?
I arrived in Florida from Puerto Rico in 1978. I failed my English class at my Catholic school in Puerto Rico, so I started learning English in earnest in 1978. I often tell people that I learned the language through television and shows like Three’s Company and M*A*S*H. As much as I enjoyed watching the former back in the 70s, it was filled with homophobic stereotypes.
I don’t spend my time watching reruns of Three’s Company, though I’m not actively trying to avoid it from shame either. However, I’m sure if I did, I’d cringe at some jokes at Jack and his faux gayness. I do, on occasion, watch Back to the Future, should I happen upon it, though I do cringe at the homophobic references. Life and culture have changed over the last forty years. We should find these references uncomfortable, much like watching Blazing Saddles might make you tense.
Since those afternoons spent watching Janet, Chrissy, and Jack on television, I’ve learned that important people in my life are gay and trans. I watched them as they bravely and unapologetically told me their truth. I reflect upon those moments and realize they risked my withdrawing my love for them, but instead, I chose to tell them that there’s nothing wrong with who they are.
That’s why we have Pride Month.
Why not [your demographic] Month?
Some have argued, so why not Straight or Caucasian Pride Month? To be blunt, I’m not sure whether they’re trying to be clever or genuinely feel underrepresented. However, I’ll answer this question at face value.
First, look at the list of romantic films from the top of the post, and then look at the population breakdown here in the US. Can you honestly tell me that you feel that straight Caucasian couples are underrepresented? Straight Pride Months exist; they are July through May. You may not necessarily observe them, organize parades, fly flags, or generally celebrate them. However, you can’t deny that heterosexuality takes precedence over the remaining months.
Second, how has your particular demographic been oppressed? Were you kidnapped from your home and thrown into a life of servitude? Were you collected and beaten (or killed) because you registered to vote? Were you denied entry into the US from your country for sixty despicable years because you are the wrong race? Were you beaten and tied to a fence in near-freezing temperatures because you were gay? Blackmailed? Secretly filmed by your roommate in a romantic encounter and literally humiliated to death? No?
If your biggest complaint is that you’re not the center of attention on all twelve months of the year, then I only have one question for you. Are your crystal slippers too snug?
Aren’t we indoctrinating children?
I can hear it now. The arguments are nothing if not predictable:
- “Let our kids enjoy their childhood.”
- “Stop sexualizing our kids.”
- “Kids don’t need to learn about gender identity.”
I honestly tire of hearing this, but I’ll mention it because I know that this very notion lingers on the minds of some readers. You call it indoctrination, and you maintain that it’s taught to your children and want it to stop. However, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Your children have already been indoctrinated; you just don’t think of it that way.
Have you told your children the heterosexual story of Snow White? Have your children ever entered a public restroom? They already know about couplehood and gender identity.
If you have no worries about Snow White being heterosexual, why not make Snow White a young prince? Think about this next question carefully. Please explain to me how gay couples necessarily elicit images of anal sex, but straight couples do not necessarily elicit images of coitus? Just because that’s where your mind runs to, doesn’t mean that’s where your child’s mind will run to.
Similarly, if your child is old enough to understand that there are ‘appropriate’ bathrooms for them to use, they can also understand that they do not want to conduct their life as a particular gender.