I confess that I have a guilty pleasure. It’s a television show named House, MD, or House for short. The show centers around an exceptional diagnostician in New Jersey who suffered a traumatic leg condition. The show cycles between the extent of what he’d do to manage his addiction to pain medication, his relationships with his peers, and fascinating medical cases.
I started watching the series early; she started watching a couple of years later, after watching a few episodes with me. Naturally, the characters fascinated us. The fact that Jennifer Morrison (Cameron) and Jesse Spencer (Chase) became engaged while they dated in the show tickled us. Listening to Hugh Laurie talk natively genuinely shocked us; we found him incomprehensible.
We have since watched the entire series several times. We often put on an episode as background activity on the television with a timer to fall asleep. Those episodes do not hold enough intrigue to keep us awake, but at this stage lull us to sleep. An episode starts, and we’ll safely assert that, “It’s one of the two leprosy episodes.”
Conducting root cause analysis
That said, I’m a software developer by profession. I spend a fair amount of time on root cause analysis, though not as much as I did years before. Subtle anomalies speak volumes about when code is running in unexpected ways; it takes intuition to understand when it warrants investigation. If I’m lucky, the computer crashes or hangs, since it often points directly to the problem, much like observing the water trickle in on a boat. If I’m unlucky, the symptom is much more cryptic, like loss of hard drive space or consuming all the CPU bandwidth.
I do with computer systems what House does with humans. His powers of deductive reasoning are amazing. What he does with humans is something I aspire to do with computers. Details that seem completely inane, such as:
- She eats pork.
- Nun has an allergic reaction to nothing.
- A faith healer seems to cure cancer.
- A cat can predict the next person to perish.
- A weather event explains a woman’s uninhibited crush.
In many episodes, House converses with another peer when he abruptly stops. He may look off into the distance, but he gets that hint of recognition in his eyes. Abruptly, he gets up and leaves, with a diagnosis in his mind. Finally, he solves the puzzle. In some ways, solving the puzzle holds far more value than saving a life.
On occasion, I’ve had moments like this. I may be in the middle of a walk or on my drive to work. More than once, the solution came to me while I was showering. It’s the power of diffuse thinking. I subsequently contemplated having a notepad next to the shower.
Occam’s Razor
This principle is the name of an episode in season one. The principle recommends searching for explanations constructed with the smallest possible set of elements. In the show, this manifests itself in many diagnoses. It’s based on probability. One condition, even if rare, is generally a better choice than multiple conditions.
The magic of House is two-fold. First, he can imagine scenarios that somehow elude others. It’s much like listening to someone beautifully play music with your guitar. You rationalize that it’s your guitar, and you have all the tools to make it sound the same way… except that you can’t and you know that you can’t. Second, he has an encyclopedic recollection of medical conditions. This goes beyond simply remembering that obscure conditions exist; it also includes recalling the rare symptoms.
For example, one case presented itself where insomnia overwhelmed a young woman. House made the diagnosis of the Black Plague based on two facts:
- The patient’s girlfriend had imported a dog from a southwestern state to New Jersey and subsequently returned it.
- Insomnia manifests itself in rare cases of the Black Plague.
Those two seemingly unrelated details led to the diagnosis.
The rare conditions
As mentioned above, the rare conditions and their symptoms are key here. However, let’s focus on one condition: gynecomastia. This is the condition where boys develop enlarged breasts. By the numbers, this condition is not that rare; it can affect up to 50% of boys. Most cases resolve naturally without the need for medical intervention. Naturally, this means that a small percentage of them do not. Now imagine that this is you.
Once you establish that it’s not a threat to your life, why mess with it? As the cynic, I’d argue that this is precisely how God made you. To seek to change it, it’s a bit like playing God, right? We’ll gloss over the fact that the practice of medicine, in general, seeks to heal the sick and extend life; this is, in and of itself, an affront to God’s will.
Would you make your peace with this condition? Will you be that guy with the impressive biceps, who needs a sports bra to jog to hold your c-cups in place? Most would chalk it up to one of God’s mistakes, like cleft palates, and seek to correct it. However, suppose the one afflicted with this condition isn’t you, but is instead your teenage son.
What would you do to protect your son?
Your son comes home from school every day. He is bullied relentlessly. He is an easy target… “the boy with tits”. The boys at school are ruthless; navigating the halls becomes an obstacle course in avoiding the worst bullies. Some girls joke that his breasts are larger than theirs. A simple trip to the bathroom to pee is strategically timed. Furthermore, physical education is his private hell; needing to change in front of other boys is psychological torture. Some classmates will mock and cop a feel of his breasts.
Initially, your son, who has never hurt a soul, has started to cut himself. Subsequently, he develops suicidal ideations. You watch as he carries this burden every single day; he is broken. His self-esteem is non-existent. You struggle to find ways to help him.
Would you support your son seeking and undergoing medical intervention to address having breasts that rob him of his masculinity?
If you answered “yes”, why would it matter if your son is cisgender or transgender?