Modern technology has almost eliminated the need to visit banks.  These days, I rarely find myself visiting a bank, or more specifically, an ATM (automated teller machine), unless I travel.  Still, if you’ve regularly used an ATM, at some point you would’ve probably used a drive-up ATM.  I’ll let you in on a little secret about drive-up ATMs; they outfitted them with Braille on the keypads for each of the numbers.  Some likely think that I made this up; I didn’t.

You may ask, “How would a person who is blind ever drive up to an ATM?”  However, they constructed drive-up ATM’s this way intentionally.  First, the most obvious explanation is that the user may operate from the back seat as a passenger.  This scenario is perfectly reasonable, especially since the drive-up ATM’s often keep longer hours than the bank itself.  Second, it costs less money to design, manufacture, distribute, and manage the inventory for one panel instead of two.  Since having the raised dots for Braille does not prevent anyone else from using the keypad, they all have them.

However, designing ATM’s to be generically accessible to people who are blind does not adversely impact other users.  This design accomplishes the most good for the most people; most users won’t even notice the raised dots.  This creates very little, if any, angst.

The most good for the most people

Like about 90% of the population, I use my right hand more than my left.  However, my mind bends in unconventional ways.  Years ago, I decided that I should learn to use a mouse with my left hand.  Between my job as a software tester and my computer at home, I operated around five computers regularly.  I reconfigured all mice as left-handed.  This means two things:  I operate the mouse with my left hand, and I reverse the role of the two buttons.  It took two weeks, but I finally learned to use a mouse with my left hand comfortably.

When it comes to computer mice, the ‘most good for the most people’ is to design a bilaterally symmetrical mouse.  And yes, I just needed to resurrect that term from high school biology.  They design ergonomic mice to ‘fit the hand’ more naturally, with a shape that follows the contours of your hand and even extra buttons accessible to the thumb.  However, practically all ergonomic mice are molded for right-handed use.

While some naturally prefer ergonomic mice, everyone can use a symmetrical mouse with few issues.  If you configure your own computer, get whatever you’d like.  However, if you’re configuring a computer for a public space, like a library or a hotel desk, please get a symmetrical mouse.  Configuring it with an ergonomic mouse makes it more difficult for around 10% of the population.

You may reason that since most are right-handed, everyone should learn to use a mouse with their right hand.  You won’t bother to pick a more sensible and inclusive mouse that accommodates the most people.  There is a term for people who intentionally do this even when they realize that it’s less inclusive.  That term is asshole.

Wishing you happy holidays

I’ll let you in on a little secret: Christmas is a holiday.  In fact, Christmas is a holiday in most countries.  When someone, such as a cashier, barista, or whoever, wishes you happy holidays, they are, in fact, wishing you a merry Christmas, along with a series of other holidays that others observe around the same time of the year.  Other notable holidays include Hanukkah and Kwanzaa.

The appropriate responses to “Happy Holidays!” are:

• “Happy Holidays”
• “Thank you”
• If you celebrate Christmas, you may also wish them a “Merry Christmas”.  I doubt this would create friction.
• If you don’t observe or celebrate (or won’t this year), you don’t need to respond. 

However, under no circumstances should you respond angrily with, “I’ll have a Merry Christmas, thank you very much!  😠”  Wishing someone happy holidays includes Christmas.  Don’t be that person.  Don’t be the asshole.

To get upset or angry over your particular holiday taking less prominence than years past demonstrates egocentrism, closed-mindedness, and pettiness.  You’re the person who grows angry over having ATM buttons outfitted with Braille or having non-ergonomic mice because most people are right-handed.  You want others to suffer to feed your ego.

To hear the greeting ‘happy holidays’ does not harm you.  Please stop pretending that you’ve been slighted.

What the founders believed

I grew up in Puerto Rico, where the population is 90% Catholic.  In this modest tropical island, most businesses closed on Sunday because it was the day of the Sabbath.  Honestly, we got used to it; they closed their doors on Sunday, just like they did at night.  I’ve lived in communities that were almost entirely Catholic.  At the time, I didn’t even realize that other religions existed.

However, the world has grown smaller.  Information and even experiences are merely a few keystrokes and mouse clicks away.  We learn about other cultures and beliefs.  Furthermore, the more we know, the more we realize that there’s even more to discover.  A tiny fraction of that wisdom and discovery is to realize that there are many other religions out there.  Navigate life with humility and understand that you’re just a speck in our world.

While many will assert differently, we founded our country on the lack of a single religion.  The first phrase of the First Amendment reads, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.”  I won’t debate that many of the Founding Fathers were Christians.  However, they needed to detach their own individual faiths and keep faith out of government.

“Happy Holidays” is the most inclusive greeting.

They’re not slighting you

However, I can continue to explain how the world has changed, and how we collectively understand much more than we did even years ago.  The world is considerably more diverse than we imagined.  For us to know what other faiths believe and how they operate will make us wiser.

However, some only hear the words “happy holidays” as an insult, not as the umbrella greeting that encompasses all these holidays and cultures.  These words draw their ire and insecurities.  You’ve become the Ginch that stole Christmas.  They’ve concluded that you’re minimizing their faith, that indeed you’re slighting their Christianity.

What they don’t realize is that “happy holidays” does not exclude Christianity; it merely takes one faith (Christianity) out of a place of prominence.  Even if we established centuries ago that we would not have a state religion, we’re finally (and slowly) taking its dominance out of culture.

For you to scream and pout about the switch from “merry Christmas” to “happy holidays” is to behave like a petulant child.  You’re that Christian who feels their grip slipping on your top position in popular culture and looks to fight it tooth and nail.  You’re the holiday version of Charlottesville protesters carrying Tiki torches and chanting, “The Jews will not replace us.”

My advice?  The world is changing.  Grow up and stop being that asshole.