On a weekend evening, we indulge on a dinner out at one of our favorite local restaurants.  This particular weekend is Father’s Day.  Having lost my father at nine, it’s always bittersweet.  Naturally, I miss him, but it’s been literally decades.  Seeing as though we both spoke three languages, I’m not entire sure in which language we would communicate.  As I chat with our friend at the bar, I ask him casually, “Are you a father?”  With a small grin, he responds with, “…not that I’m aware of.”  I chuckle; she glares at us both.

There are two ways to interpret that response.  First, a man uncouthly boasts about his sexual conquests.  Second, a man laments that he didn’t keep in touch with all the women he loved.  I think we each interpreted it differently.  That said, the likelihood of keeping tabs with an ex is slim.  While I imagine that most women would reach out to the man if she became pregnant, this is not necessarily the case.  The biology makes the pregnancy impossible for the woman to ignore, but for the men, it is awkward, if not impossible, to know conclusively if they have children with an ex.

The woman is pregnant for months

With the reversal of Roe v. Wade, there are bound to be more women who are forced to give birth because they don’t have the means to get an abortion in states that ban it.  Sadly, this disproportionately impacts poor families and people of color.  Many will make assertion that you can simply put the child up for adoption.  If you consider how many children are in foster care, this doesn’t sound feasible.  Why don’t these parents that are so willing to adopt, simply adopt a foster child?  Let’s gloss over that.

The unplanned pregnancy will impact the woman for months as she approaches the birth.  Once the child is born, there’s no rule that says that the biological father shouldn’t be the one who raises the child.  You can make all kinds of rationalizations about breastfeeding, but the recent baby formula shortage demonstrates that many families are feeding their babies this way instead.  If gay men can figure out how to bring a baby home and raise it, then there’s nothing that says a single father can’t do it.

I concede that the woman is impacted for months until the birth, and that is a function of biology.  However, to assert that the biological mother is somehow more accountable for that child after birth, is simply cultural bias.  Can we reason through why the biological father is not just as accountable for taking care of that baby?

Men are more accountable for unplanned pregnancies

Men are disproportionately more accountable for unplanned pregnancies than women.  I know that some will roll their eyes about this assertion; please be patient.  That’s not merely an opinion, we can calculate it.  We’ll divide those into two categories:

1. Pregnancies from non-consensual sex (incest and rape)
2. Pregnancies from consensual sex

In the first case, there are over 32,000 pregnancies from males raping females; we can agree the men are strictly accountable for those.  As it happens, the instances of females raping males is very rare (not zero), but it doesn’t account for anywhere near that 32,000 number.  We can agree that in this group, the men are far more accountable than the women.

In the case of consensual sex, you may assert that accountability is a 50/50 split since both people consent.  The point about consent is certainly true, but the reason why men are more accountable is simply biological.  And no, I’m not tolerating slut-shaming as a counterargument.  Though for reference, I truly detest that term, but it’s probably the fastest way to convey the idea.

The shipwreck hypothetical

Let’s put together a hypothetical scenario, a ship with 100 passengers is shipwrecked in a deserted island.  As you might imagine, the survivors get bored and with little else to do, they have sex.  Factoring out corner cases like twins, what is the maximum number of babies possible after nine months?  You may have an answer, but I have yet to mention the gender breakdown of the 100 survivors.  Just for giggles, let’s do the calculations for three numerical breakdowns:

• 50 women and 50 men
• 99 women and one man
• one woman and 99 men

Naturally, this is predicated by the biological fact that a woman may not carry multiple pregnancies at a time.  I assume that we don’t need to debate this point.

The ‘everyone loves everyone’ scenario

The number of babies is a function of the number of women; this doesn’t change.  The number of babies will change based on the number of women, so the breakdown will be:

• 50 women and 50 men – 50 possible babies.  No guarantee that they’re not all the same father but statistically unlikely.
• 99 women and one man – 99 possible babies.  Many candidates to repopulate the Earth, but high chance of genetic problems due to incestuous gene pool.
• one woman and 99 men – one baby.  Very slow to repopulate the Earth and again potential genetic problems.

I assume that there are no disputes here.  Everyone understands how this works.

The ‘women are monogamous’ scenario

The number of babies is still a function of the number of women; this still hasn’t changed.  The breakdown is similar to before, so thus:

• 50 women and 50 men – 50 possible babies.  Same as above.  Just because the woman only has one partner, doesn’t mean that her partner does the same.
• 99 women and one man – 99 possible babies.  Same as above.
• one woman and 99 men – one baby, one man coupled with the one woman and 98 sexually frustrated men.

Still, no surprises, same as above.  I hope that this is not confusing, because I’m not drawing you any pictures.

The ‘men are monogamous’ scenario

The number of babies is no longer a function of the number of women, nor is it necessarily a function of the number of men.  The women may have as many partners as they please.  The breakdown is:

• 50 women and 50 men – 50 possible babies, if the men select different women.  Fewer if some pick the same woman.  The most genetically diverse.
• 99 women and one man – one baby, since the one man is coupled with only one woman, and 98 sexually frustrated women.
• one woman and 99 men – one baby, even if the one woman has relations with all the men, it still only results in one baby.

Again, I’m assuming that there are no disputes here.  Sorry, still not drawing naughty pictures for you here.  I could, but I won’t.