Decades ago, I needed to cut something in my office at work. I don’t remember quite was it was nor why I needed to cut that paper; it didn’t matter. I didn’t have a pair of scissors, so I wandered out to find a pair. My teammates shared an office across the hall; I made it that far. I asked my teammate if he had a pair that I might borrow. He reaches into his desk drawer, pulls out a pair of scissors, and hands them to me. However, he warns me that they’re left-handed scissors.
“Surely, he toys with me”, I thought. I did not believe that such thing as left-handed scissors existed. I simply took the scissors and started to cut, or more accurately I tried to cut. Though I genuinely tried, I could not get those scissors to function. Obviously, I could pull the blades apart and then back together, but they didn’t cut paper. My friend charitably cut the item for me. I played the fool; left-handed scissors actually exist.
The source of the confusion? I reasoned that if there was such a thing as left-handed scissors, there must be such a thing as right-handed scissors. Logically, right-handed scissors would be called… [pause for emphasis] right-handed scissors. However, we refer to the right-handed variety as scissors (without the specifier), and we simply call both types of scissors collectively as ‘scissors’.
We imply the ‘right-handed’ qualifier
First, the difference between the two types of scissors lies with more than simply the way the holes fit your hand. On right-handed scissors, the top blade (closest to you) is aligned northwest to southeast; on left-handed scissors, they’re reversed. Yes, it matters. Search for them on Amazon and look at pictures if you don’t believe me.
Second, we imply the right-handed qualifier with scissors. If we don’t mention “left-handed”, we assume that they fit right-handed people. We use this convention so prevalently that I, as I’m sure many others, did not believe that left-handed scissors existed. Statistically, left-handed people make up about 10% of the population.
Naturally, we don’t limit this to qualifier to scissors. We do not label ergonomic mice for right-handed people as such, we simply call them ergonomic mice. If we design different versions of practically anything for hand dominance, we label the left-handed version as such, but not the right-handed version.
Sadly, this language structure leads us to gloss over the needs of left-handed people; we exclude them. It’s not done intentionally or with malice, but we still do it. When we supply an office with ergonomic mice or a classroom with scissors, do we allocate 10% of them for left-handed people? Even the wording sounds funny; we should get 90% scissors and 10% left-handed scissors.
We are more likely to accommodate vegetarians and vegans over left-handed people.
We also imply the ‘straight’ qualifier
When we hear the word ‘couple’, we will likely picture a heterosexual couple. Sure, statistically heterosexual people make up a much higher segment of the population; I won’t debate that. However, since we imply the ‘straight’ qualifier so often, we gloss over our biases about heterosexuality. Simply put, we accept heterosexuality (almost invisibly so), yet we treat homosexuality as taboo. Furthermore, when we explicitly call out those biases, we refuse to acknowledge it for what it is… homophobia.
Few will debate that Snow White is age appropriate for children. There is nothing overtly sexualized about the story line. Snow White wakes to a kiss from Prince Charming. Prince Charming plants an innocent kiss; we’re not talking about coitus here. What if we update the story and make Snow White a young prince? Now, explain to me, without sounding homophobic, how an innocent romantic kiss between a man and a woman is not sexualized and is appropriate for children, but an innocent romantic kiss between two men is abruptly sexualized and no longer appropriate for children.
If you maintain that we should just “let kids enjoy their innocence without sexualization”, do we then remove the portrayal of heterosexual couples from fairy tales? Do I believe that some content is not appropriate for children? Absolutely! I simply fail to see how merely changing the gender of one of the characters without altering the plot magically turns it from ‘acceptable’ to ‘sexualized’. On a very basic level, portraying heterosexual couples is sexualization.
Why no Straight Pride Month?
I’ll let you in on a little secret. It already exists. In fact, July through May are Straight Pride Month(s). Much like we fail to label right-handed scissors as such does not mean that we designed them to work with left-handed people; we didn’t. A non-Gay Pride Month is a DeFacto Straight Pride Month. Culturally, we bombard everyone with the tacit indication that couple-hood necessarily implies heterosexual couple-hood. Heterosexual people have grown so accustomed to all references leaning in their direction, that when it doesn’t, some feel slighted.
Allow me to frame it this way, straight people already have eleven months of the year where they are the DeFacto standard. Are you really complaining about the one month when we discuss LGBTQ+ issues? Really?! How do you walk through doors with that ego?
Why no Straight Pride Parades?
I’ll answer this with a question. Why is June, in particular, earmarked as Gay Pride Month? Historically, it observes the riots at the Stonewall Inn (a gay bar) in 1969 and it sparked the Gay Liberation movement. You may search for references to Gay Pride and the Stonewall riots; you pick and choose which one you want to read; I merely mention it for reference. For me, Pride Month serves two purposes.
First, while we grow older every day and continue to live in married bliss, we use birthdays and anniversaries to observe and celebrate them. For those in the LGBTQ+ community, it means that you may speak up and be your most authentic self. For those who have friends and loved ones in the community, we stand with you in solidarity. We love you because of who you are not despite it. We understand that harming you results in harming us collectively.
Second, Pride Month serves as an annual gut check on issues that affect the LGBTQ+ community. We can celebrate the ones that have progressed. Similarly, we can mourn the ones that have regressed and hopefully aim to get them reversed. During Pride Month we collective acknowledge that as much as we have progressed, persecution and unfairness still exists. And we promise to do better next year.
“What about the persecution of straight people?”
What persecution of straight people? Tragically, this actually came up in conversation. Some people observe that we expand the rights of gay people, and then conclude that it naturally takes away from their rights. They believe that civil rights are like finite slices of pizza, and if ‘they’ get more rights, ‘we’ will end up with fewer. Except that there aren’t shortages of marriage licenses or children to adopt. They have taken nothing from you.
Let’s reflect on the history:
- Despite the fact that we have the freedom of assembly, gay bars, like the Stonewall Inn, were routinely raided and occupants arrested.
- For many years, we denied gay couples the right to marry. Only to be overturned by a Supreme Court decision. Yet some county clerks still openly defy this ruling.
- Gay people have been killed, and some have been humiliated to death.
- The US military dismissed service members because they were gay.
- They disallow any mention of the LGBTQ+ community public schools in Florida.
- Many states disallowed gay couples from adopting until the Supreme Court ruled it unconstitutional.
All simply because who they love doesn’t align with your values. Gay people do not want or expect more rights or privileges than straight people; they simply expect the same rights and privileges. Portraying the occasional gay character in film doesn’t indoctrinate into homosexuality any more than Snow White or The Princess Bride indoctrinates into heterosexuality.
Equal rights for gay people ≠ Persecution of straight people
Now, tell me again precisely how we have persecuted straight people? And no, asking you to give up the limelight for one of twelve months does not qualify as ‘persecution’.
…like a fish needs a bicycle
Suppose you have two children that play sports, baseball and tennis respectively. The child that plays tennis wants a baseball mitt simply because their sibling has one. The question for you… Do you get them that mitt to appease them or do you explain to them that they don’t need a baseball mitt to play tennis?
The simplest answer to why there isn’t a Straight Pride month or parade is that one is not necessary. We haven’t historically oppressed or persecuted heterosexual people. Have we:
- Arrested you for meeting in public places?
- Denied you a marriage license?
- Killed you or humiliated you to death?
- Dismissed you from your job?
- Suppressed the mention of your community in public schools?
- Denied you adopting a child?
…because you are heterosexual? Of course, we live in a free country, one that explicitly allows the freedom of assembly. You may organize your own parade. However, being the DeFacto standard, straight people need a designated month or a parade like a fish needs a bicycle.