I have a confession to make, I’m a bit of a traditionalist.  Many of my tastes lean towards the retrospective; I won’t apologize for it.  It’s not quite the “kids get off my lawn” sentiment, but still I may sound like that crochety old man at times.  I speculate that it’s a function of a couple of forces.  First, I have good memory and knowing precisely how something works and behaves brings great comfort.  Second, I’m a sentimentalist.

For many years I was finicky about how I configured my work computer.  I installed easily over a dozen programs and proceeded to painstakingly tweak all the settings.  Just as I was getting into a groove and got really productive, I’d get a notification from our administrator, “Congratulations!  You got a new computer!”  It once took me over a year to fully move all my work tasks to that new computer.

I’m unapologetically retro

However, I’m still an engineer, and I’m in the technology field in particular.  Thusly, I’m naturally going to gravitate to new technology, but it’s always a compromise between the bleeding edge of technology and that old familiar sweatshirt or backpack.  However, I’ll let you in on a little secret…  You can pick what works best for you; you are allowed.  Ultimately, it should be an informed decision, but it’s ultimately your decision.  For others to browbeat you into doing it their way is wrong and misplaced.

I still enjoy paper books

Many years ago, I attended my dear friend’s wedding in Panama.  On that trip I carried three books; one was Satchel Paige’s book borrowed from a friend.  My load on that trip was heavy, and it wore on me.  I’ve since moved to reading mostly e-books and carrying an entire library in a device lighter and smaller than a paperback.  Do I still have paper books?  Absolutely!  I still read most reference books in paper format.  You’ll see me wearing my readers with my eyes alternating between the computer screen and the book on my lap.  Similarly, one of my priced possessions is an out-of-print book from my mom upon my birthday.  I can do both and appreciate both.

I reminisce about photo albums

A number of years after my departure from Florida, my sister rummaged through our family photos and created a number of photo albums for me.  I can’t imagine how much time it took to painstakingly thumb through those old photo albums.  The negatives for these photos are long gone, thus the pictures she selected would be removed from our family albums.  This was an incredible gesture; it rendered me speechless.  With modern technology, taking photos is trivial and so is sharing them.  Photos can be infinitely shared in a few finger taps; sharing them is not an imposition the way it once was.  Digital photographs do not diminish the value of those photo albums.  I can appreciate both.

I love handwritten notes

Recently, I came in contact to a family friend from my childhood.  She is in fact a second-generation friend; our mothers were friends in Hong Kong, and I spent a summer with them in Toronto.  We initially made contact weeks ago and exchanged a few messages.  Her responses stopped and I concluded she just became busy, and it slipped my mind.  Last week, I opened my mailbox to find that she had written me a letter.  It was a lovely touch and one that I aspire to reciprocate, though my natural inclination is to send off an e-mail or a text.  Having been an engineer in a software company for so long, it suddenly occurred to me that I don’t know the penmanship of most of my colleagues.

I miss listening to entire albums

Similarly, music changed the most in my lifetime.  I have seen music media in record (vinyl), cassette, 8-track, cd, digital format (mp3, whether ripped or downloaded), or streaming (such as Spotify).  One of my first albums was Def Leppard’s High ‘N’ Dry and I got it on cassette.  Needing to account for the limitations of the media, I discovered every song in that album; I even embraced the sequence of the songs on each side.  It’s part of the nuances of the format.  To this day if I hear Queen’s “We Will Rock You” or “We are the Champions” independently or in the wrong sequence it still feels strangely surreal.  The two tracks are always to be played together and in that order; it is a moral imperative.

Retro is okay, but inclusivity is essential

It’s great to be nostalgic; it gives you character and depth.  Do you prefer paper books over e-books?  No one is twisting your arm.  Are you skilled at developing film in a dark room?  Show it off, it’s an art!  Do you enjoy the anticipation of getting a letter in the mail and having lovely stationery?  It’s a wonderful personal gesture.  Is enjoying music your thing?  Go get that tube amp and the latest vinyl!

However, just keep in mind that others may do it differently than you; understand that it’s not an affront to you.  It’s not the collapse of civilization.  Others should absolutely give you space to live your life in the way that you want (provided you don’t hurt anyone), but conversely you should extend the same courtesy to them.

You should be able to simply sit down for lunch and order a meal, it doesn’t matter if you’re black.  Similarly, you should be able to marry the love of your life, even if they’re a different race or the same gender.  Likewise, you and your spouse build a stable, loving home and should be able to adopt a child, it doesn’t matter if you’re the same gender.  You should be able to proudly serve in our military, even if you’re gay or trans.  Similarly, your wonderful child requires medical attention to make them whole, they shouldn’t be denied such care if they’re trans.

Empathy and compassion are not limited resources

There are a finite number of slices on a pizza; as each slice is consumed, fewer slices remain.  In contrast, compassion and empathy are not like slices of pizza; they’re not limited resources.  They’re the crystal-clear water that flows from a quiet stream when we’re all thirsty; there’s enough to accommodate everyone.  You can be compassionate and empathetic to others, and you won’t run out.  My wife and I are of different races; it doesn’t diminish the value of your marriage.  I have loved ones who have been in loving gay relationships for many years; they are more devoted and committed than many heterosexual couples.

Our culture is a intricate combination of diverse ideas and values, and it evolves each day.  It’s perfectly fine to be retro and nostalgic about how we each remember growing up.  It’s not okay to expect everyone to bend to your will of ‘the way things ought to be’.  There’s room for everyone; their merely living their lives is not an affront to you.  They deserve and are owed everything that you get.  It’s the right thing to do.